I have to say something. It. Is. Not. Just. The. Loss. So many look at the loss as just a loss. Well, he lost his wife. Well, she lost her husband. Well, they lost their child. I suppose sometimes that may be the case. The loss is just a loss. Far too often though, that…

I always knew that I was going to die at the age of 30. Cancer, it would be. More of a fact than a negative thought or premonition. Having lived a life of relative unhappiness the thought of passing away at a young age was scary, but not debilitating. Attempts to rid myself of this…

I asked everyone to leave the room. They said that we only had an hour left and I wanted the last hour to be ours. I got into bed with her and slowly put my hand on her arm. I was scared. I remembered that day just over eight years ago when I touched my…

I have it heard it before. From them. And. From you. “Only those who had good marriages can truly know grief,” the man said with confidence. Don’t worry.  I corrected him. With kindness. Patience. And, most importantly, knowledge. “I don’t feel like I can relate. Everyone else had a fairy tale marriage. My marriage was…

“She is going to die.  In a couple of weeks.” Those were the words spoken to me that cold, snowy December afternoon. “What is the next step then?” I asked the doctor as I tried, unsuccessfully, to clench my jaw and fight back the tears. Michelle didn’t hear those words. Or my question. She was…

On this day. Four years ago. We became man and wife. I’ve cried hard many a day. This. One of the most tearful of my life. You were so sick. The pain extreme. You couldn’t stop throwing up. A true nightmare. No fairytale. Or dream. You were in the same clothes. From three days before.…

How do you stand so tall? How do you walk so proud? How do you smile easily? How do you laugh so beautifully? How do you comfort others? How do you shine with such grace?  With such class?  With such dignity? I use to ask my wife those questions. The ultimate Cancer Warrior. She fought…

Don’t forget our children. As the days pass by. Don’t forget our children. Those that had a daddy, or a mommy, die. Don’t forget our children. As you go on with your day to day routine. Don’t forget our children. Truly profound loss, they have seen. Don’t forget our children. They deserve better than to…

I wish I had you way back then. When she was sick. And I was watching her die. I wish I knew you existed. When I angrily cursed to a Higher Power. And asked, “Why?” I wish I had you way back then. When I needed more than just a friend. I could have used…

The nurses and hospice staff kept asking me if I wanted them to give Michelle a bath. I said no the first few times, I didn’t want to disturb her. I was scared. Every time she would get up she would suffer from God awful hallucinations. She was finally resting comfortably and I didn’t want…